I wish.....I will.....

Its very difficult
for me to forget people
and to believe,
they are gone.
I wish
there was a Shift+ Delete.
I will
try again.

Its crazy,
just looking at a name
makes me
cry.
I wish
there was a Backspace.
I will
try again.

I say all the time,
to myself and
to everyone
that its gone.
I wish
there was a Ctrl.
I will
try again.

I still dream
about a company
I will never have.
I wish
there was a Alt. (ernative)
I will
try again.

I dig into
the past,
wondering what
could have happened.
I wish
there was a Insert.
I will
try again.

I see
the future
and hope its not
dark. Otherwise
I wish
there was a Escape.
I will
try again.

I want to
open the doors
within me
and let the happiness in.
I wish
there was a Enter.
I will
try again.

I want to cry
aloud
and let Mom
cover for me.
I wish
there was a Home.
I will
try again.

I remember,
those rare moments
and smile
on my fortune.
I wish
there was a Pause.
I will
try again.

I pray
to God each moment,
to block
the thoughts.
I wish
there was a End.
I will
try again.

The quick brown dog jumped over the lazy fox

I think I like these 'top of the head' posts. The posts which go with the flow. Represents me unadulterated. That's I what I want, right?..and I don't care if it pleases anyone or not. Why the hell should I?

I will sleep in peace now and get up tomorrow morning only to realize that I'll be late again for work. I will tell my pillow to wake me up. When I was a kid, mommy used to say that it works.

The title has nothing to do with the post. Spare your head and the fingers. Don't scratch.

Top of the head..

For a change, this is going to be a khopdi ke upar se post.

I am sitting in my cubicle at work. Its 4:45 pm..have been working my ass off since I came in at 8:30 am. I want a break now so I have opened up a Microsoft Outlook email window and typing so that they think that I am writing an important mail, which ofcourse I am not. After I finish this I am going to slowly creep into Internet Explorer and copy paste this stuff and format it and publish it.

They are playing "Masti ki paadshaala..apni to paadshaala…LOOSE CONTROL"..yes my headphones are on. There is this really cool software, I am addicted to. It plays live Indian radio stations of US, UK, Paris, France, Holland, BBC and what not. The station at Paris is Radio Teen Taal and I have found it the best among all. It plays all new songs and remixes. Bluffmaster's Right Here Right Now, hindi rap is my best these days. Its just funny. Okay the song has changed.."Dekha tumko jabse…dekha tumko yaara….you are my soniaaa"..aah Kareena Kapoor. Kya hoga is ladki ka?.I am really worried!..:)

Yesterday this new guy flew in from India. He is supposed to join the same company from Monday. Even though we've gradutated from the same college in India.I just remember him as some one who was around, never really had a conversation, but he seems to be a nice guy..hansta rehta hai.

So yesterday evening was this customary warm welcome to US to the new dude. B went to pick him up. I and U anxiously waited in our apartment watching "Must Love Dogs"..oh…this reminds me..I have joined Netflix so getting 3 DVDs at a time delivered at home, well there is a one month free trial :)..watever!.Last 3 days, have watched..Flightplan..In Her Shoes..and then yesterday..Must Love Dogs. Flightplan is a decent movie but there are just too many assumptions to be made. In Her Shoes is based on some book..Cameron Diaz..muuuhaaaah..!..its a 80% drama 20% comedy, relationship of two sisters and how they have a love-hate relationship..blah blah. Getting back to this new guy. Btw, the new song is Jo hai Samaa..Kal Ho Naa Ho. Sonu Nigam's voice doesnt match SRK. Abhijeet in Duplicate was much better, Udit Narayan has been exceptional all way through. Sorry for digressing. So he finally came. Flight delayed for an hour in frankfurt..for me it was not that important that he came.I wanted the sweets.I think I luv this guy. He got Kaaju ki barfi. I don’t remember how many I had but the box felt a lot more light after I had it..I had to gulp down some pepsi to at least start the settling of kaaju in my stomach. I was full. Dint want to have any dinner, but its been a custom that we go out with this the new guy for a dinner mostly an Italian restaurnt for pizza and in the process show him the Amreeeka that is the downtown Chicago, the lake.. Give him the feel, basically.

Showing around was one of my favourite task when anyone new came but now after an year, its the worst part. There has been around 15 college frens who have visited me aur maa kasam..thak gaya hun..guide bann bann ke. Sometimes its not that great to have a huge college network of friends. Weekend before last, DG was here. Thank God he did not want to see chamak dhamak. We rented a sports convertible Ford Mustand and drove off to watch Rang de Basanti and Swami Narayan Temple..and goood desi food..shaahi paneer..malai kofta..aur methi parantha..ek veggie ko aur kya chhaiye life mein??!!!... I am not a hard-core veggie. Eggs are fine, have had chicken before and my latest non-veggie disaster was Lobsters' soup. Ofcourse, I dint know what it was until I finished it off. Bechara lobster :(

Coming back again, so the tradition was to be followed and 5 of us, took this new guy to downtown and started off

"this is the lake..always remember..its on the east!!..ok?..dont forget..ok?..haan..downtown is south..so we are going south..ok?"

Song: Jitna bhi kar lo pyaar…humko to kam lagega…jitnaaaa bhi kar lo pyaaaaar...

"ok..we get down at water tower place..haan bhai..arey pehle yeh dekho..that is Navy Pier..woh jo door se chamak raha hai na..lake par..haan..wahi..its a nice place..lots of nice shops..ferris wheel..Imax..ok..we will go there some day..ok..haan to..arey..utaro..bus se..water tower aaa gaya..see this..this is John Hancock Tower..3rd tallest building in Chicago..the tallest ofcourse is Sears Tower..dekha..upar tak dekhne mein gardan mud jaati hai..dekho..iske 95th floor par ek restaurant hai..Signature..mast hai..chalo ab aage chalte hain..office building tak..fir dinner..yeh dekho..kitne mast showrooms hai…aage victoria secret ka show room hai..sabse pehle wahan chalenge..US mein aake wahan nahi gaye.!...so we are walking south ok?..ya..and this is wrigley building..the same man..wrigley chewing gum..ya..wahi..and this is chicago river..ruko bhai..yahan thoda khade ho..mast view hai..its customary..u have to stand here and appreciate the view..ok..and the next cross street is south water ..thats where u have to get off from the bus..to walk to the office..kya?..haan yaar thand to hai..windy city hai na..its very chilly here..arey..last weekend it was -30 deg C..hehe..haha..koi baat nahi adaat padh jaayegi..haan see that black building..thats our office..thik hai..na..its simple..take buses..145..146..135..ok..chalo ab..dinner kya karna hai?."

Ek ladki ko dekha to aisa lagaa…oo…ek ladki ko dekha to..arey bhai .its the song..

So..we went to Giordanos for Pizza..we werent hungry..mithai itni kha li thi..ordered garlic bread..fries..two 12" thin crust..yes..just that..and 5 of us.were not even able to finish off half of the stuff.!!..we asked for a box..and moved on…

Hopped on to the bus..I had the box with the pizza and as soon as I boarded the bus..this 20 something decent girl who was sitting right on the first seat almost started jumping as if she has just seen Brad Pitt back with Angelina. I paid attention. When a 20 something girl jumps, I pay attention. Its my rule. She was now shouting with her tongue out.... Giordanos..umm..muaaah…wow!..u got pizza in there..?" . I was like "Yo..umm u want some?". I knew for sure it had nothing to do with Giordanos..she just wanted some free food. I took the seat in front of her..she was an amazing actor..eyes on the box..that lust for food in the eyes. I told her that it was all veggie toppings, well..I should have guesssed that..she said it doesn’t matter..the smell was amazing and all that. She literally begged if she can at least see it.!..limit ho gay thi..I opened the box..and showed it..she wasted no time in pulling out one. Kasam se, 5-5 mile lambe tareef ke bridge bana diye usne. I wonder why do they need Engineers.

There was this guy with her, her brother basically. No, she dint tell me. He dint tell me. I am just guessing that he was her brother. I got into a small talk with him. They were from Springfield, the birthplace of America's 16th President, none other than Abraham Lincoln. It was time for them to get off. It was then I realized that they were broke. They were riding for free, the bus driver wanted them off as soon as possible. Its amazing, girls never look broke.

When I got back home, I checked my YM and offliners. There was a very disturbing and sad one from a blogger friend. I dont know if I should write it here. There has been a tragedy. Automatically, something triggered, I composed him an email. I pray to God for strength to him and his family.

I have to come to work this weekend. Saturday and Sunday both. I am loaded with work these days. I am working on a bascule type bridge project based in Wisconsin. Its my first hard core Structural project. Sometimes I wonder, if I ever studied properly what they taught me at college. I feel blank most of the times. I struggle. Somehow, figure things out and move on. The crux is I have to work on the weekend. I had said yes to B to join him to his trip to Michigan which is a 3 hours drive. He works as a volunteer in Ganges, A Vivekanand Samiti Aashram. I have been to the Chicago center couple of times but never to the one in Michigan which I have heard is a very calm, beautiful place. They need some help with the inventory in the Library and I wanted to go. Next weekend I am going to California. I thought it was time to get returns for my Chicago Dekho Guide Service. A close friend is in Stanford Uni.

Song: Asshiq Banayaaa…Asshiq Banayaa aapne..oooonnn…

I think I am going to end here. Have to go back and pack some chocolates which I bought to be sent to India. A friend is going back home tomorrow.

Song Change: Laal Dupatta..Udh gaya re mera hawa ke jhonke se..mujhko piya ne dekh liya hai re dokhe se..


I am going to copy paste this stuff into blogger and format and add some links. Please do not chop off my arms when you notice tonnes of incorrect spelling and grammar. Thank you so much. I need my arms.

Capturing Moments

I had started this post long time back. I think it was supposed to be the second post of this new blog. Something was going on in my mind, and it did for a long time. But I don’t remember it now. :) That’s usual for me.

Hundreds of thoughts just pass by and I am unable to retain them. And now I realize that this post was something about this very wish of mine..Ability to Retain Moments.

I will try and complete the post and hopefully it will be close to the thoughts lingering on my mind.

-------------------------------------

I have been pondering about something and it has occupied my mind more than I would have liked. Now, it has become inevitable, that I put it down here.

To begin with, I want a record of each and every moment that I spend. A record, not only about what and how I am doing, but also of my feelings, my momentous decisions, my habits, my behaviour. Putting it straight, I want a record of each and every little thing that happen to me or things that I do. What I have observed and felt strongly in my 23 years of living a recordless life is that, there have been so many moments which deserved to be put down. There has to be a place where I can go and look back at those moments and smile and remember and learn from them.

Analogy?

Life is a cricket match and each moment is one ball bowled, or may be a wicket taken, or a cover drive for four, or a dropped catch, or a dog jogging along the pitch, or Inzy wondering why he got out when he played a perfectly defensive shot.

I am more than just amazed when I look at those moments after the match is over.

Click, Click and Click.

Hundreds of photographers swarm the ground's periphery, tucked behind those advertisement boards doing their job. Every moment in the match is a prospective chapter in any cricket history book. And they know that. None can afford to relax. There!..Sehwag just looked into the eyes of Rawalpindi Express. Click-->Captured.

I wish we had the same ability in our lives. Ability to secure moments as and when they occur. Yes, cameras and camcorders and celfone cameras are there. But its much more than just a click when it comes to the game of life. Its goes deep and there is a difference too. I don't want others (photographers) to do that for me. I want things from my perspective and unfortunately at the same time I don't want to put any amount of effort. I dont want to come back home and write in a diary..in a blog...in an email..or a chat or on phone. I want things unbiased. Pure and natural as they come.

-------------------------------------------------

I think I am not good at putting down my thoughts because when I read the above, I feel some thing missing.

--------------------------------------------------

Irrespective of how much we crib about Indian cricket and cricketers and their money making advertisements, we do love them and are crazy about it. A friend passed on a link to a video containing some of the best moments of Indian fielding in recent times and a punjabi background score :)

Enjoy!

google.video.com link hai..shayad india mein nahi chalta..:((

Woh thi...uski dosti nahi thi

Bus itna hi safar tha, mere pyaar ka
Kya kahun, ek asafal izhaar kaa
Haan shayad, sirf ek kami thi
Woh thi...uski dosti nahi thi

Us subah ka intezaar fir bhi karenge
Sapnon mein uska deedar fir bhi karenge
Arzoo humein, sirf ek kashti ki thi
Woh thi...uski dosti nahi thi

Janam agla kabhi to hoga
Mere har sawal ka jawab, kahin to hoga
Naa pooche kuch, koshish humne to ki thi
Woh thi…uski dosti nahi thi

Shaadi No.1

[-Flashback-]

Mid 1999. School days. Infact, last year at school.

Like a herd of sheep I and my school friends used to flock to those IIT-JEE coachings, to poora karo the sapne of stepping into IITs. They had like 300- 400 students in one batch. Sometimes the number would go up to 500.

The decision was basically taken by my parents, majorly supplemented by thoda sa doodh de dijiye types padosis. They told my parents, "bete ki life ban jaayegi". Thus, I went to those coachings. Three of them - Phy, Chem. and Maths and each one lasting for about 3 hours. Life was already hectic and to add to that the Cricket World Cup. I ogled at those matches much in the same way Vivek Oberoi ogles at Aishwarya Rai.

Tuesdays, Thurs and Fridays were bad . Come back from school at 2:20 pm. Watch TV, Eat lunch, Rest a while and shoot for the Chemistry coaching at 4:14:12 PM types (give or take a few seconds). Listen to the instructor. Write down if in the mood. Watch girls. (That was the last ime I saw so many pretty gurls sitting together). Hoot when the lights goes off. Talk cricket. Talk movies. Come back to home at 8:29:22 PM types. Satisfy papa and mummy - "bahut padhayi hui aaj". Eat dinner like if it was the last supper. Try and finish off some school stuff and coaching stuff. Sleep.

Mondays, Weds and Saturdays were worse. Take off from school like a supersonic. Land at home. Eat lunch, like if I was on the 100th floor of World Trade Center and have just seen the plane flying towards my window. Change clothes with the same speed as Mallika Sherawat takes her off. Shoot for Physics and Math back to back. Somehow make it back to home at 9:12:04 P.M. types and eat and zzZZZ..

Thankfully my school was only 3 (7) minutes at a running (walking) distance from my home. Sadly the coachings were 30 - 40 minutes, add to that the never forgiving Kanpur traffic. I had the always-reliable my dad's Humaraaaa Bajaj Super!. and learned to ride it only because of the coachings. I and my school friend B had worked out a plan to share the commute. I would drive to his place, pick him up and drive to the coaching and drive back. Next day, I would just leave my scooter at his place and he would drive his bike. We were happy saving fuel and having a friend along was the next best thing after cricket (and girls).

Just another day at coaching.
B was driving us back and a red scooty (Humaraa Bajaj Spirit UP78****) speedily drove past us. I really think that was the moment which inspired Dhoom.

B: Abey.!
Me: Abey..
B: kuch baat hai...hmm..
Me: ladki thi kya.
B: hmm..
Me: hmm..

Yet another day at some coaching. The class just got over and as usual I and my friends hung around, gossiped, watched the girls leaving with their brothers and dads.

B (shocked): Abey!
Me: kya
B: Arey yeh to apni hi coaching mein hai..us din wali speedo.
Me: haan..pata hai..teenon classes mein hai..phy .chem. .math..
B: oh acha..saale bata nahi sakta tha.
Me: hehe

I think there is something with the world, like a rule or a commandment that once you start noticing certain people, you come across them more often than all the other mortals. Much like when you start noticing suni hui tunes in Anu Malik's songs, you see him composing more.

So we noticed her, in the coachings, in the parking area, on the roads and soon realized that we generally took the same roads and turns and chaurahes back to our homes.

I think she noticed us too.

Chemistry Coaching. I was minding my own business, looking around, waiting for B to pull out the bike from the 3 feet narrow gali which came out of the parking lot like a caterpiller coming out of a football field.

Just then, I think I saw her coming towards me. I froze.

(Self:"Abey yeh to yahin aa rahi hai..noo..dekthe hain")

It was confirmed. She was.

(Self:"Abey pit gaye aaj..bolegi ki peecha kyun kar rahe ho..maregi..kahan bhagun ..kaise kya!".)

I had only heard and seen in movies and was convinced that its not really comfortable when a girl takes off her sandal and launches it on you. I thought may be its time for me to witness it very closely, or I should say feel it.

Eye contact was made. I tried not to look but she was right there. The dinosaurs are never there when you most need them. The sky never falls down. The ground never tears apart. I was cornered.

She: Hi!
Me: Aei..

(the 'H' did not come out. I was very pleased with whatever came out in that situation.)
She: Tum log Bade Chaurahe tak jaate ho na
Me: haan..
(Self: Pukka pite!.Maa kasam...Ab kabhi nahin jaunga wahan se..)
She: Actually, I also go till there..and raat mein risky hota hai kaafi..wapas aate waqt.tum log saath mein chal sakte ho??..woh mummy kehti hain ki koi rahega to safe rahega.
Silence.
Me: Err..Umm..Haan..(Silence) I come with a friend...let me talk to him.
She: haan..ok.

She went back to her friend who was standing by her two wheeler. In the meantime B had come with the bike. I told him.

B: Hain!.
Me: haan
B:Hain...Hain..
Me: Ab chaloge ya 'hain' hi karte rahoge

B never believed me.

I took the back seat and B kick-started the bike and we drove towards her. I think I just said "chale" and she nodded. It was time for B to deep-freeze. He did not say a word. Not to me, not to anyone. May be he was just checking out the sandals. I never asked.

We stopped at a railway crossing and waited for the train to pass by. I thought this may be the time to break some ice.

Me: Hi!..I am Kapil and he is B.
She: Ya..I am Nupur...Mujhe naam pata hai tum logon ke..tum log Jaipuria se ho na..meri friends hain tumhari class mein..unse poocha tha.

(Self: Aeen.. Background Check karela hai isne to!)
Me: oh ..accha..tum Phy aur Math mein bhi aati ho na..
She: haan :)

(All the conversations here are a reconstruction of real ones based on my ant-size memory. These may not be taken for exact.)

[-/Flashback-]

The reason I chose to put down this memory today is very simple and now very obvious from the title. I am really glad that we have been good friends since then, and I am much more happy and excited today.

Yes...Its her W-E-D-D-I-N-G!

So the Miss Nupur that we knew is now gone. She is Mrs. Nupur :)

My Heartiest Congratulations to Nupur and Nupur's HE

and

Bestest Wishes to the Jodi No. 1 for their Journey together.

11th Feb 2006

And so I Moved

into a new apartment, I mean.

It was pretty easy just that some funny things happened. Like the truck's shutter got stuck and at one point we had 3 guys hanging onto the shutter trying to pull it down.
We got locked out of the new apartment with all the stuff in. No points for guessing who did that :) I almost bought something to wear to work next day.

What would you say If I tell you that the same evening I went to watch my first NBA game (Chicago Bulls Vs Atlanta Hawks) and did not click any pics. I had the cam. I had the batteries. I was in there in the overwhelming indoor United Center. What was missing? Yes. The batteries were already drained out of any potential difference across its electrodes. I went around the whole stadium, checked all the gift shops, begged. Sorry, No AA.
I wanted to snatch the digicam from that babe but her BF did not seem that nice. The pics in my celfone are as good as Kareena Kapoor's dancing. I guess Murphy was hanging around.

OK. Back to the track. The post is about the new place and the pics.



<-- Before The Aryans Settled in the foreign land. Chaos prevailed.









After--->
Its a One bedroom apartment on the 10th floor of a high rise on the Lake Shore Drive. The windows in the living room and bedroom face north-east with a scenic lake view.
Still need to buy blinds for that window :)

Optical Zoom - 0 x














Optical Zoom - 3 x













Optical Zoom - 8 x

This place is a recreation club, I think. I see baseball pitches, lawn tennis nets, jogging and roller blading tracks. I might just walk down there this weekend.

Mirror Mirror on the wall.
The apartment came with lots of big mirrors and ceiling lights. One of the many factors that I decided to rent it. Other factors included location, easy commute to work, beach right across the road, in house gymnasium, library, 28th floor sun-deck, 24 her doorman etc.












Kitchen -1
This is the place where I (DO NOT) like to spend my free time :)..

Did u notice the mirror ?:)








Kitchen - 2

(Camera: Nikon Coolpix 4800)

Tag Tag Taggy

The tagger has tagged this taker of the tag, and this taker of the tag intends to take the tag, not because he fantasize taking tags but because he has been tagged by any tagger after a long tagging time.

So let the tag be taken by this taker of the tag.

Tag - list 8 different points for my perfect lover.

Sex of the target = Female (until I decide to turn gay or bi)

Actually, this tag is an easy one. Straightforward and uncomplicated.

NO!. Not because I know exactly what I want or specifically who, but mainly because I am

B. L. A. N. K.

Everything has changed. 2004 and 2005 have been years of realizations. Years of changing perceptions. Two most important years of my worthless life.

What exactly is the problem?. There are many voids. Its like a unstirred cylinder full of small aggregate pieces. It needs to be shaken up. It needs an external force to vigorously jolt it so that the pieces rearrange themselves and fill the gaps. At least minimize them. It can not be done from within. Someone has to come along and rattle me.

NO! If you think that this is going to end here. The tag will be taken. Just that there will be no points. Categorize if you want to.

if (lover==life partner)
{
Koochie-coo gurl. I am not sure what I want to say here. One glance at her and I feel like doing koochie-coo with her! May be its pulling her cheeks till they turn red. (or I get a slap). May be its just watching her cook. (or she watching me cook). May be its listening to her talking to the maid. (or instructing the maid to maintain a safe distance from me, safe.). May be its just her touch when she puts the pillow below my head. (or snatches it). May be its just she reading this and still deciding to be with me.(or she reading it later on and killing me). You got the point?. Koochie-coo gurl.

I am not a big guy. No tall, dark and handsome. She need'nt be J Lo or Ash. Me and her, look good together? . Deal!.

Me and her all cuddled up on the couch. Close. Very Close. Just that thin flannel blanket. Her head resting on mine. Mine on hers. Holding each other. Picture perfect. Watching movies after movie. Right from DDLJ to A Walk to Remember to Matrix to Charlie's Angels to Home Alone to Satya to Veerana to KKHH et al. Dont look at me. Look up, the tag says perfect partner.

Once in a while I would love to have those lazy Saturdays. No waking up. Sleep till we get bored or tired or mountain hungry. No early morning tea. No brushing of teeth. No cleaning each other. Just lie down. Be lazy. Forget responsibilities. Forget shopping for groceries. Forget laundry. Forget vacuum cleaning. Forget the world. Be with me. I am with you. We are the world.

Nothing better than a life-partner who earns. I have grown up watching my mom go to work everyday and still manage 'n' number of things that come along with a family. If you ask her, she would tell that its the confidence of earning that keeps her going.

We live in a multi-cultured society and come across situations and people who require different treatment at different levels. I will not be able to take on all of them. I need her. An ideal partner would rise and shine when I don't. We would be each other's support system.

}

if (lover== just a lover)

{

Be hot enough. Fire will be lit. Extinguishers will be hidden. 911 will go on leave. We will burn.

}

The tag requires that I pass it on. Well. Here it goes.

If you comment on this post and have not taken the tag, consider yourself tagged.

P.S. : to all the programmers out there. Sorry there were no function declarations and semicolons. Do not try and compile.Thanks.