...Life of A Kaps...

2006-06-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

Instead of starting with the traditional and an uninteresting "Hi..I am back" I will start with something much more traditional and torpid. Something which has been said and heard so many times that it is now losing its power. The punch. The respect and warmth it used to carry. The personal touch it used to bring in. Its fading (much like the reputation of 'educated' leaders of the Congress Party) . I hear it at least trillion times each day. Most of them are used to convey.."Dude, our conversation is over.". Some of them are used in lieu of a better word to finish a sentence. Some of them are used to intelligently forfend a topic. This pleonasm does more harm to the usage of the expression than anything else.

I want to say Thank You! (for want of a superior expression)

Yes, Thank you everyone for keeping this little blog of mine alive by occasionally checking for updates, for all the offliners and for enquiring about the CEO's paycheck :)

I promise, to you, and to myself, that I will not let the tank of this place run out of fuel. It will keep moving. Inch by inch.

I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.
~William Shakespeare

2006-04-29T17:35:00.000-07:00

---
चाह्‍ुँगा मै तुझे साझँ सवेरे,
फिर भी अब नाम को तेरे,
आवाज मै ना दूगाँ.....
--

Its Saturday again. Nothing Unusual. Am at work again. Nothing Unusual.

I think there is no one else working right now, at least on my floor. I kind of like it.
Working on Saturday means overtime. Overtime means exxtra $$$. Extra $$$ means I can eat out more often and not think about saving a lot by cooking at home.

Doug just left. Said that he made a good progress. I suggested that may be its coz its peaceful. He was like.."ya..no meetings.not phone calls..just work".
I blurted out abruptly "We all shud work on weekends then!..to make good progress"..

I dont think he really liked it. He is a senior guy and doesnt joke around a lot.

I started a poem..wrote four lines..

Its coming again,
The dry rain
O' heart, dont you dare hop!
Its not the love-drop,

I am happy, I realized soon that I am not a freaking poet. Some realizations are just too gud and true.

To tell you some more truth, I feel like stealing into the CEO's office and look for his pay slip. Won't it be interesting?..Does he even get a paycheck?

I think he does.

I know, there is been a huge-enormous-volcanic-immense blog-neglect on my part.
I am not posting frequently. I am not reading blogs. I am not leaving comments. I am not replying to the comments. I am not not not....

I am going through that What-To-Do-In-Future and How-To-Do-It phase. Been thinking and talking to people a lot. Trying to get a BIG picture. I wish life was an IMAX movie.; whenever you look at you get the BIG picture. I am kind of getting there., an IMAX is just couple of miles from my office.

I want to get back to work and for a change I will do what I want to do.

CEO's office, I am coming. ;)

Errr...

2006-04-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

These words that you see here weren't intended. Instead, there should have been a proper post on so many things that are going on in my life. I am being lazy for no particular reason. Procrastination is the word that was put in the dictionary exclusively to describe the meaningless activities of Kaps. I have a copyright on the word. I can sue if you use it without my written permission, and when I say 'I can'.. It actually means 'I definitely will' ..unless you are a beautiful girl who believes in 'quality' time pass while we discuss my other 'meaningful' activities. Did you say you are now procrastinating the use of the word?

That's that!.

Lately, I have been reading a lot about reservations in central funded universities in India. A silent reader, that's what I have been; All the yahoo groups..All the mailing lists that connect me to my Alma Mater, are discussing this issue with full rigor. Different people, different backgrounds, different opinions. Its just fascinating. I mean, being a silent reader-- even that is fascinating! Reading those discussions, arguments and counter-arguments and blame games is the highlight of my day.

Protests, all over.
Students decide to bunk classes to show their anger. That was yesterday in IITK. Were they heard?

students senate in various universities/colleges meet and pass a resolution. They intend to write to the President, hold a protest march in the campus, plan to organize a press conference, try and get themselves heard. Will they succeed?

Bangalore, Alumnus decide to go for a peaceful protest march. They want more and more support am sure they will get it. Will they make a difference?

Lots more. Rumors about IITK and IITB alumni going on a hunger strike/ suicide threats.
If its true, will their concerns be taken care of?

Media, publicize and make money, hoping that finger pointing continues. Big advertisement revenue keeps pouring. Will their profits be worth it?

Bloggers, yet another hot topic to punch words in. I think-I blog types. Will their words be read and commented on?

Answers, I seek. Questions I ask.

But wait.. I am a silent reader!...Let me go read more.

We need a leader.

(that's the bottom line, if u noticed)

Its time for some...

2006-03-27T17:51:00.000-08:00

SANTA BANTA! :)..
Picked up from a forwarded mail..no offence intended!..just fun.
some more interesting stuff will come soon.

Come fall in love...Online!

2006-03-24T19:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, M asked me if I had feelings for her. She was afraid, that I do, coz a day before I had hung up on her in a *strange* situation. She said she dint sleep that night..People lose sleep over me!. Am that dangerous. Stay away, if you want to sleep in peace.

My answer, though very obvious to me, was a profound no. I mean no feelings of that kinds.--saath mein rahenge..bachon ka naam kya hoga types. I don't fall for people online. The idea doesn't appeal to me. But, I really enjoy the friendship to the extent that there remains a very thin line between whats virtual and whats real. Strangely, the next step scares me to hell. It may be because, I don't want to scare the other person :). I just imagine the real rendezvous..
I travel, and walk across the deserts, swim the seas and hike the jungle in the scorching sun, buy a red rose and some chocs and a stupid ring and get there, expecting --I love you, you love me---Lets be with each other--Lets talk to our parents--We will work it out.

She: Oh..
Me: What..
She: is that you?
Me: No, its my Yahoo id
She: I thot you were..errYou look so different from ur pics
Me: ya..trick photography.
She: ok ya..we..we... can be good friends..Don't call me. I will call you.
Me: that's cool too.

That was exaggerated. And before you stand and shout "I object..". I know it doesn't happen always. People do find soul-mates online.
They meet, magic strikes, Chunnu, Munnu arrives. Ok, not so soon, but they do :)

I have met 3 online friends of mine. Yes those, Cafe Coffee Day meetings..Gosh! I'd never thought of this before!!..Therez always been a Cafe Coffee Day involved. So let me grab this opportunity to thank the owners of CCD for setting up their franchise in Bangalore, sorry, I mean Bangalurooo and Delhi and Kanpur. Sure, "A lot can happen over Coffee"

Coming back, I will not call it online anymore because of the simple fact that even though it started as a YM thing, my relationship with all of them have grown tremendously and now there is nothing virtual left, except the scraps and emails and chats and phone calls-- means of communication. I cant explain it. There has been a shift, from virtual to real and a leap upwards in my comfort level with them. The thin line isnt there anymore. Its been a beautiful and a wonderful experience. A journey from "Do you really exist" to "Oh! I am so glad you really exist".

Why, its been so good? I reason and me thinks because there weren't any feelings involved. Curiosity was, but that's totally different.
So, Why, no feelings? I reason again and now me thinks that it was coz my mind, heart, body, soul, kidney, liver, intestines, lungs, *everything* already felt and inhaled someone else. It still does and am trying to fend it off and success seems as close as Mr. Osama is to US. Its very easy to 'act' and 'declare' and say 'LOL, it was just a little infatuation, you see'. Yeah, a lil infatuation which is already 8 years old. Ask me, how easy it is. Oooops, I digress. Bad Kapil. Don't do that again. Listen to your brain.

I want to elaborate more on M. May be later. Its too much to put in one post. She deserves more than few lines. Its been more than 2 months of knowing each other and an incredibly bumpy yet smooth ride all through.

Control?

2006-03-14T18:13:00.000-08:00

So, I did not fall off from the Golden Gate Bridge. I did bend down over the railing to take a look. I controlled. I think I saw Lalita Powar in the water below, waving madly, calling out to me to jump. If it were Catherine Zeta Zones or Monica Belluci I would certainly have. But, then I would have missed this blog.

Another reason for me to control was that I was pissed off. Golden Gate Bridge is not made of Gold!. Its not even painted gold.

Ab yeh bhi koi baat hui?..Hum naraaz ho gaye aur nahi koode.

It reminded me of Yuva though, the scene when Vivek Oberoi bhaiya jumps off from Howrah. Who did he saw in Devgan bhaiya? Kareena Didi to wahin unke paas khadi thi..hmm..somethings are better off when left unexplained. May be he just couldn't control.

During the Calif. Trip. I finished my 512MB memory stick in the digicam. I could not control. And now I am overwhelmed by the number of pics I have got to deal with. Will upload some of them soon.

Couple of days back, I'd almost lost it. The control, I mean. It was the limit.

Chalo, ek tip ka bulb jala deta hun

Whenever you have an urge to pee.
Do it. Don't control.
Do it. Do it, My friend.. Do it.
Look for a place and do it.
and Happy, You will be.

Basically, I had gone to attend a dinner presentation by the ASCE Geotech group. They had invited a faculty from UIUC to talk on the new technologies that will shape the future of geotech testing and surface exploration . Whatever it was, I did'nt care. My senior had told me that the company reimburses for it and that I get 1 hour of professional development and dinner. It was enough for me to say Yes. Apne ko kya?

We got there during the cocktails and then some thing or the other kept me interested and made me ignore the urge. I controlled like Atal ji controls his speech, I managed myself like Rajnikanth manages his cigarette, goggles, pistol and cowboy hat all in one shot. Did I say that the cocktails were followed by a long Greek dinner and then a even longer presentation. It was all like watching a Balaji Telefilms soap on an island surrounded by sharks. All this while I kept that kodak-moment smile on my face and punctuated it by occasional "Oh yaa..is it?"

Finally it was over and my senior kindly dropped me off at the train station in downtown. She was very kind. I mean very very kind, because she waved me good bye and stood there to see me getting into the train station, leaving me absolutely no chance of sneaking into a store and its heavenly restroom.

I got into the train and tried to keep myself busy with the Contemporary Modern History text book I am carrying these days (just for the heck of it). I think I just read two sentences in the 20 minute journey. I got off at my station and literally started a 100 meter to my apartment. It was windy and cold as usual. And when its cold, it gets worse. Thankfully M called up. Tu Jiye Hazaroon Saal, Saal ke din ho Pachas Hazaar.

M: Hii..kya ho raha hai ?

Me: Hi..arey yaar mat pooocho..I just got off the station and am walking towards my place and its windy here..*kat-kat-kat-kat*

M: hehe..ok ok I will hang up, ur hands will freeze. I know its bad

Me: "Arey nahi..nahi ..its ok..just talk to me..divert my mind..or I will do it right here!..koi rest room nahi hai..badi der se control kiya hua hai..*kat kat kat*"

M: ohh..hehe..arey go into a store na..

Me: Nahi hai na..I am in a residential area..kuch nahi hai..ruko ruko ATM machine hai..kar dun?

M: Hell no!!..hehe ure crazy

Me: Cars hai..no wait..fire hydrant..usmein? :)

M: Shutup..

Me: Kisi ke ghar mein ghus jaata hun..bolunga please please ek baar bathroom jane do naa. :D

M: hhaha..ya do that..pit jaoge.

Me: ok ok..keep talking then ..ghar aane hi wala hai..so what did u do today?

M: umm..ok..I cleaned the house..vacumed the living room..and then..we have lots of glasses here..so cleaned them..

Me: ohh.basically u are practicing being a house wife..

M: hehe..nahin yaar.

Me: and giving ur mom more reasons to get u married

M: No.!!I like to manage the house..and makeover..bus.

Me: ok ok..watever I know you want to get married..haha.

--Talk--Jabber--More Talk--More Jabber--

Me: Hey listen ..will call u back..am entering my apartment..and thanks!.

Back to Tip of the Day -

Whenever you have an urge to pee.

Do it. Don't control.

Do it. Do it, My friend.. Do it.

Look for a place and do it.

and Happy, You will be.

I hope everyone had a COLORFUL HOLI,

mine was plain..am a little sick..feeling that throat infection again..but what less do u expect when you go out for a hair-cut right into the wind and cold, with no ear-puffs and gloves and then get into a hot shower seconds after you have said goodbye to the cold wind.

The Point

2006-03-03T08:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had this project coordination meeting. The drawings I have been working on will be reviewed next week. Now I know what Rakeysh Mehra would have felt when Rang De Basanti's release was delayed. So, I was going to type in something here and the celfone in my left pocket started dancing in a silent mode. I try my best to avoid taking calls while at work because I feel utterly discomfortable. There is this Czech guy in the next cubicle who comes to office to talk on phone in some Slovakian language. He doesn't know what I feel about it, which ofcourse is much like what Michael Moore thinks about George Bush and his Monkey face. I don’t want anyone else to feel the same about me, may be because I possess a Monkey-ier face than Bush. Why present unnecessary oppurtunities when you already are a sky full of them. I read that some 5000 security personnal are appointed for Bush's security while he is in India. I would rather have them ploughing a field. Or may be I don’t understand summit level talks about nuclear cooperation. I also read that Dr. Manmohan Singh set aside the protocol and made an appearance at IGI airport to receive Mr. and Mrs. Bush. It may be a feel-good gesture considering it is Bush's first visit to India. Of all what little I have read and heard about our PM one thing that stands out is his gentle (un-aggressive ? , meekish?) nature. I had an oppurtunity to meet with him briefly during a lunch hosted by Rajya Sabha in Dec. 2003 and he seemed to be a calm, soft-spoken man like the Gandhian way.

After 3 hours from now, I will have the pleasure to sneak away from work and board the southwest flight to San Jose. I will try and post some pics of my California trip, that is, if I do not fall off from the Golden Gate Bridge. In the meanwhile, keep checking the news about a guy who died because he thought falling in love was as easy as falling from the Golden Gate or Eiffel or Moon or whatever!

You got the damn point!?!. Take it with you.

I wish.....I will.....

2006-02-28T22:22:00.000-08:00

Its very difficult
for me to forget people
and to believe,
they are gone.
I wish
there was a Shift+ Delete.
I will
try again.

Its crazy,
just looking at a name
makes me
cry.
I wish
there was a Backspace.
I will
try again.

I say all the time,
to myself and
to everyone
that its gone.
I wish
there was a Ctrl.
I will
try again.

I still dream
about a company
I will never have.
I wish
there was a Alt. (ernative)
I will
try again.

I dig into
the past,
wondering what
could have happened.
I wish
there was a Insert.
I will
try again.

I see
the future
and hope its not
dark. Otherwise
I wish
there was a Escape.
I will
try again.

I want to
open the doors
within me
and let the happiness in.
I wish
there was a Enter.
I will
try again.

I want to cry
aloud
and let Mom
cover for me.
I wish
there was a Home.
I will
try again.

I remember,
those rare moments
and smile
on my fortune.
I wish
there was a Pause.
I will
try again.

I pray
to God each moment,
to block
the thoughts.
I wish
there was a End.
I will
try again.

The quick brown dog jumped over the lazy fox

2006-02-26T22:46:00.000-08:00

I think I like these 'top of the head' posts. The posts which go with the flow. Represents me unadulterated. That's I what I want, right?..and I don't care if it pleases anyone or not. Why the hell should I?

I will sleep in peace now and get up tomorrow morning only to realize that I'll be late again for work. I will tell my pillow to wake me up. When I was a kid, mommy used to say that it works.

The title has nothing to do with the post. Spare your head and the fingers. Don't scratch.

Top of the head..

2006-02-24T15:55:00.000-08:00

For a change, this is going to be a khopdi ke upar se post.

I am sitting in my cubicle at work. Its 4:45 pm..have been working my ass off since I came in at 8:30 am. I want a break now so I have opened up a Microsoft Outlook email window and typing so that they think that I am writing an important mail, which ofcourse I am not. After I finish this I am going to slowly creep into Internet Explorer and copy paste this stuff and format it and publish it.

They are playing "Masti ki paadshaala..apni to paadshaala…LOOSE CONTROL"..yes my headphones are on. There is this really cool software, I am addicted to. It plays live Indian radio stations of US, UK, Paris, France, Holland, BBC and what not. The station at Paris is Radio Teen Taal and I have found it the best among all. It plays all new songs and remixes. Bluffmaster's Right Here Right Now, hindi rap is my best these days. Its just funny. Okay the song has changed.."Dekha tumko jabse…dekha tumko yaara….you are my soniaaa"..aah Kareena Kapoor. Kya hoga is ladki ka?.I am really worried!..:)

Yesterday this new guy flew in from India. He is supposed to join the same company from Monday. Even though we've gradutated from the same college in India.I just remember him as some one who was around, never really had a conversation, but he seems to be a nice guy..hansta rehta hai.

So yesterday evening was this customary warm welcome to US to the new dude. B went to pick him up. I and U anxiously waited in our apartment watching "Must Love Dogs"..oh…this reminds me..I have joined Netflix so getting 3 DVDs at a time delivered at home, well there is a one month free trial :)..watever!.Last 3 days, have watched..Flightplan..In Her Shoes..and then yesterday..Must Love Dogs. Flightplan is a decent movie but there are just too many assumptions to be made. In Her Shoes is based on some book..Cameron Diaz..muuuhaaaah..!..its a 80% drama 20% comedy, relationship of two sisters and how they have a love-hate relationship..blah blah. Getting back to this new guy. Btw, the new song is Jo hai Samaa..Kal Ho Naa Ho. Sonu Nigam's voice doesnt match SRK. Abhijeet in Duplicate was much better, Udit Narayan has been exceptional all way through. Sorry for digressing. So he finally came. Flight delayed for an hour in frankfurt..for me it was not that important that he came.I wanted the sweets.I think I luv this guy. He got Kaaju ki barfi. I don’t remember how many I had but the box felt a lot more light after I had it..I had to gulp down some pepsi to at least start the settling of kaaju in my stomach. I was full. Dint want to have any dinner, but its been a custom that we go out with this the new guy for a dinner mostly an Italian restaurnt for pizza and in the process show him the Amreeeka that is the downtown Chicago, the lake.. Give him the feel, basically.

Showing around was one of my favourite task when anyone new came but now after an year, its the worst part. There has been around 15 college frens who have visited me aur maa kasam..thak gaya hun..guide bann bann ke. Sometimes its not that great to have a huge college network of friends. Weekend before last, DG was here. Thank God he did not want to see chamak dhamak. We rented a sports convertible Ford Mustand and drove off to watch Rang de Basanti and Swami Narayan Temple..and goood desi food..shaahi paneer..malai kofta..aur methi parantha..ek veggie ko aur kya chhaiye life mein??!!!... I am not a hard-core veggie. Eggs are fine, have had chicken before and my latest non-veggie disaster was Lobsters' soup. Ofcourse, I dint know what it was until I finished it off. Bechara lobster :(

Coming back again, so the tradition was to be followed and 5 of us, took this new guy to downtown and started off

"this is the lake..always remember..its on the east!!..ok?..dont forget..ok?..haan..downtown is south..so we are going south..ok?"

Song: Jitna bhi kar lo pyaar…humko to kam lagega…jitnaaaa bhi kar lo pyaaaaar...

"ok..we get down at water tower place..haan bhai..arey pehle yeh dekho..that is Navy Pier..woh jo door se chamak raha hai na..lake par..haan..wahi..its a nice place..lots of nice shops..ferris wheel..Imax..ok..we will go there some day..ok..haan to..arey..utaro..bus se..water tower aaa gaya..see this..this is John Hancock Tower..3rd tallest building in Chicago..the tallest ofcourse is Sears Tower..dekha..upar tak dekhne mein gardan mud jaati hai..dekho..iske 95th floor par ek restaurant hai..Signature..mast hai..chalo ab aage chalte hain..office building tak..fir dinner..yeh dekho..kitne mast showrooms hai…aage victoria secret ka show room hai..sabse pehle wahan chalenge..US mein aake wahan nahi gaye.!...so we are walking south ok?..ya..and this is wrigley building..the same man..wrigley chewing gum..ya..wahi..and this is chicago river..ruko bhai..yahan thoda khade ho..mast view hai..its customary..u have to stand here and appreciate the view..ok..and the next cross street is south water ..thats where u have to get off from the bus..to walk to the office..kya?..haan yaar thand to hai..windy city hai na..its very chilly here..arey..last weekend it was -30 deg C..hehe..haha..koi baat nahi adaat padh jaayegi..haan see that black building..thats our office..thik hai..na..its simple..take buses..145..146..135..ok..chalo ab..dinner kya karna hai?."

Ek ladki ko dekha to aisa lagaa…oo…ek ladki ko dekha to..arey bhai .its the song..

So..we went to Giordanos for Pizza..we werent hungry..mithai itni kha li thi..ordered garlic bread..fries..two 12" thin crust..yes..just that..and 5 of us.were not even able to finish off half of the stuff.!!..we asked for a box..and moved on…

Hopped on to the bus..I had the box with the pizza and as soon as I boarded the bus..this 20 something decent girl who was sitting right on the first seat almost started jumping as if she has just seen Brad Pitt back with Angelina. I paid attention. When a 20 something girl jumps, I pay attention. Its my rule. She was now shouting with her tongue out.... Giordanos..umm..muaaah…wow!..u got pizza in there..?" . I was like "Yo..umm u want some?". I knew for sure it had nothing to do with Giordanos..she just wanted some free food. I took the seat in front of her..she was an amazing actor..eyes on the box..that lust for food in the eyes. I told her that it was all veggie toppings, well..I should have guesssed that..she said it doesn’t matter..the smell was amazing and all that. She literally begged if she can at least see it.!..limit ho gay thi..I opened the box..and showed it..she wasted no time in pulling out one. Kasam se, 5-5 mile lambe tareef ke bridge bana diye usne. I wonder why do they need Engineers.

There was this guy with her, her brother basically. No, she dint tell me. He dint tell me. I am just guessing that he was her brother. I got into a small talk with him. They were from Springfield, the birthplace of America's 16th President, none other than Abraham Lincoln. It was time for them to get off. It was then I realized that they were broke. They were riding for free, the bus driver wanted them off as soon as possible. Its amazing, girls never look broke.

When I got back home, I checked my YM and offliners. There was a very disturbing and sad one from a blogger friend. I dont know if I should write it here. There has been a tragedy. Automatically, something triggered, I composed him an email. I pray to God for strength to him and his family.

I have to come to work this weekend. Saturday and Sunday both. I am loaded with work these days. I am working on a bascule type bridge project based in Wisconsin. Its my first hard core Structural project. Sometimes I wonder, if I ever studied properly what they taught me at college. I feel blank most of the times. I struggle. Somehow, figure things out and move on. The crux is I have to work on the weekend. I had said yes to B to join him to his trip to Michigan which is a 3 hours drive. He works as a volunteer in Ganges, A Vivekanand Samiti Aashram. I have been to the Chicago center couple of times but never to the one in Michigan which I have heard is a very calm, beautiful place. They need some help with the inventory in the Library and I wanted to go. Next weekend I am going to California. I thought it was time to get returns for my Chicago Dekho Guide Service. A close friend is in Stanford Uni.

Song: Asshiq Banayaaa…Asshiq Banayaa aapne..oooonnn…

I think I am going to end here. Have to go back and pack some chocolates which I bought to be sent to India. A friend is going back home tomorrow.

Song Change: Laal Dupatta..Udh gaya re mera hawa ke jhonke se..mujhko piya ne dekh liya hai re dokhe se..

I am going to copy paste this stuff into blogger and format and add some links. Please do not chop off my arms when you notice tonnes of incorrect spelling and grammar. Thank you so much. I need my arms.

Capturing Moments

2006-02-20T17:45:00.000-08:00

I had started this post long time back. I think it was supposed to be the second post of this new blog. Something was going on in my mind, and it did for a long time. But I don’t remember it now. :) That’s usual for me.

Hundreds of thoughts just pass by and I am unable to retain them. And now I realize that this post was something about this very wish of mine..Ability to Retain Moments.

I will try and complete the post and hopefully it will be close to the thoughts lingering on my mind.

-------------------------------------

I have been pondering about something and it has occupied my mind more than I would have liked. Now, it has become inevitable, that I put it down here.

To begin with, I want a record of each and every moment that I spend. A record, not only about what and how I am doing, but also of my feelings, my momentous decisions, my habits, my behaviour. Putting it straight, I want a record of each and every little thing that happen to me or things that I do. What I have observed and felt strongly in my 23 years of living a recordless life is that, there have been so many moments which deserved to be put down. There has to be a place where I can go and look back at those moments and smile and remember and learn from them.

Analogy?

Life is a cricket match and each moment is one ball bowled, or may be a wicket taken, or a cover drive for four, or a dropped catch, or a dog jogging along the pitch, or Inzy wondering why he got out when he played a perfectly defensive shot.

I am more than just amazed when I look at those moments after the match is over.

Click, Click and Click.

Hundreds of photographers swarm the ground's periphery, tucked behind those advertisement boards doing their job. Every moment in the match is a prospective chapter in any cricket history book. And they know that. None can afford to relax. There!..Sehwag just looked into the eyes of Rawalpindi Express. Click-->Captured.

I wish we had the same ability in our lives. Ability to secure moments as and when they occur. Yes, cameras and camcorders and celfone cameras are there. But its much more than just a click when it comes to the game of life. Its goes deep and there is a difference too. I don't want others (photographers) to do that for me. I want things from my perspective and unfortunately at the same time I don't want to put any amount of effort. I dont want to come back home and write in a diary..in a blog...in an email..or a chat or on phone. I want things unbiased. Pure and natural as they come.

-------------------------------------------------

I think I am not good at putting down my thoughts because when I read the above, I feel some thing missing.

--------------------------------------------------

Irrespective of how much we crib about Indian cricket and cricketers and their money making advertisements, we do love them and are crazy about it. A friend passed on a link to a video containing some of the best moments of Indian fielding in recent times and a punjabi background score :)

Enjoy!

google.video.com link hai..shayad india mein nahi chalta..:((

Woh thi...uski dosti nahi thi

2006-02-17T07:16:00.000-08:00

Bus itna hi safar tha, mere pyaar ka
Kya kahun, ek asafal izhaar kaa
Haan shayad, sirf ek kami thi
Woh thi...uski dosti nahi thi

Us subah ka intezaar fir bhi karenge
Sapnon mein uska deedar fir bhi karenge
Arzoo humein, sirf ek kashti ki thi
Woh thi...uski dosti nahi thi

Janam agla kabhi to hoga
Mere har sawal ka jawab, kahin to hoga
Naa pooche kuch, koshish humne to ki thi
Woh thi…uski dosti nahi thi

Shaadi No.1

2006-02-11T18:24:00.000-08:00

[-Flashback-]

Mid 1999. School days. Infact, last year at school.

Like a herd of sheep I and my school friends used to flock to those IIT-JEE coachings, to poora karo the sapne of stepping into IITs. They had like 300- 400 students in one batch. Sometimes the number would go up to 500.

The decision was basically taken by my parents, majorly supplemented by thoda sa doodh de dijiye types padosis. They told my parents, "bete ki life ban jaayegi". Thus, I went to those coachings. Three of them - Phy, Chem. and Maths and each one lasting for about 3 hours. Life was already hectic and to add to that the Cricket World Cup. I ogled at those matches much in the same way Vivek Oberoi ogles at Aishwarya Rai.

Tuesdays, Thurs and Fridays were bad . Come back from school at 2:20 pm. Watch TV, Eat lunch, Rest a while and shoot for the Chemistry coaching at 4:14:12 PM types (give or take a few seconds). Listen to the instructor. Write down if in the mood. Watch girls. (That was the last ime I saw so many pretty gurls sitting together). Hoot when the lights goes off. Talk cricket. Talk movies. Come back to home at 8:29:22 PM types. Satisfy papa and mummy - "bahut padhayi hui aaj". Eat dinner like if it was the last supper. Try and finish off some school stuff and coaching stuff. Sleep.

Mondays, Weds and Saturdays were worse. Take off from school like a supersonic. Land at home. Eat lunch, like if I was on the 100th floor of World Trade Center and have just seen the plane flying towards my window. Change clothes with the same speed as Mallika Sherawat takes her off. Shoot for Physics and Math back to back. Somehow make it back to home at 9:12:04 P.M. types and eat and zzZZZ..

Thankfully my school was only 3 (7) minutes at a running (walking) distance from my home. Sadly the coachings were 30 - 40 minutes, add to that the never forgiving Kanpur traffic. I had the always-reliable my dad's Humaraaaa Bajaj Super!. and learned to ride it only because of the coachings. I and my school friend B had worked out a plan to share the commute. I would drive to his place, pick him up and drive to the coaching and drive back. Next day, I would just leave my scooter at his place and he would drive his bike. We were happy saving fuel and having a friend along was the next best thing after cricket (and girls).

Just another day at coaching.
B was driving us back and a red scooty (Humaraa Bajaj Spirit UP78****) speedily drove past us. I really think that was the moment which inspired Dhoom.

B: Abey.!
Me: Abey..
B: kuch baat hai...hmm..
Me: ladki thi kya.
B: hmm..
Me: hmm..

Yet another day at some coaching. The class just got over and as usual I and my friends hung around, gossiped, watched the girls leaving with their brothers and dads.

B (shocked): Abey!
Me: kya
B: Arey yeh to apni hi coaching mein hai..us din wali speedo.
Me: haan..pata hai..teenon classes mein hai..phy .chem. .math..
B: oh acha..saale bata nahi sakta tha.
Me: hehe

I think there is something with the world, like a rule or a commandment that once you start noticing certain people, you come across them more often than all the other mortals. Much like when you start noticing suni hui tunes in Anu Malik's songs, you see him composing more.

So we noticed her, in the coachings, in the parking area, on the roads and soon realized that we generally took the same roads and turns and chaurahes back to our homes.

I think she noticed us too.

Chemistry Coaching. I was minding my own business, looking around, waiting for B to pull out the bike from the 3 feet narrow gali which came out of the parking lot like a caterpiller coming out of a football field.

Just then, I think I saw her coming towards me. I froze.

(Self:"Abey yeh to yahin aa rahi hai..noo..dekthe hain")

It was confirmed. She was.

(Self:"Abey pit gaye aaj..bolegi ki peecha kyun kar rahe ho..maregi..kahan bhagun ..kaise kya!".)

I had only heard and seen in movies and was convinced that its not really comfortable when a girl takes off her sandal and launches it on you. I thought may be its time for me to witness it very closely, or I should say feel it.

Eye contact was made. I tried not to look but she was right there. The dinosaurs are never there when you most need them. The sky never falls down. The ground never tears apart. I was cornered.

She: Hi!
Me: Aei..

(the 'H' did not come out. I was very pleased with whatever came out in that situation.)
She: Tum log Bade Chaurahe tak jaate ho na
Me: haan..
(Self: Pukka pite!.Maa kasam...Ab kabhi nahin jaunga wahan se..)
She: Actually, I also go till there..and raat mein risky hota hai kaafi..wapas aate waqt.tum log saath mein chal sakte ho??..woh mummy kehti hain ki koi rahega to safe rahega.
Silence.
Me: Err..Umm..Haan..(Silence) I come with a friend...let me talk to him.
She: haan..ok.

She went back to her friend who was standing by her two wheeler. In the meantime B had come with the bike. I told him.

B: Hain!.
Me: haan
B:Hain...Hain..
Me: Ab chaloge ya 'hain' hi karte rahoge

B never believed me.

I took the back seat and B kick-started the bike and we drove towards her. I think I just said "chale" and she nodded. It was time for B to deep-freeze. He did not say a word. Not to me, not to anyone. May be he was just checking out the sandals. I never asked.

We stopped at a railway crossing and waited for the train to pass by. I thought this may be the time to break some ice.

Me: Hi!..I am Kapil and he is B.
She: Ya..I am Nupur...Mujhe naam pata hai tum logon ke..tum log Jaipuria se ho na..meri friends hain tumhari class mein..unse poocha tha.

(Self: Aeen.. Background Check karela hai isne to!)
Me: oh ..accha..tum Phy aur Math mein bhi aati ho na..
She: haan :)

(All the conversations here are a reconstruction of real ones based on my ant-size memory. These may not be taken for exact.)

[-/Flashback-]

The reason I chose to put down this memory today is very simple and now very obvious from the title. I am really glad that we have been good friends since then, and I am much more happy and excited today.

Yes...Its her W-E-D-D-I-N-G!

So the Miss Nupur that we knew is now gone. She is Mrs. Nupur :)

My Heartiest Congratulations to Nupur and Nupur's HE

and

Bestest Wishes to the Jodi No. 1 for their Journey together.

11th Feb 2006

And so I Moved

2006-02-06T17:48:00.000-08:00

into a new apartment, I mean.

It was pretty easy just that some funny things happened. Like the truck's shutter got stuck and at one point we had 3 guys hanging onto the shutter trying to pull it down.
We got locked out of the new apartment with all the stuff in. No points for guessing who did that :) I almost bought something to wear to work next day.

What would you say If I tell you that the same evening I went to watch my first NBA game (Chicago Bulls Vs Atlanta Hawks) and did not click any pics. I had the cam. I had the batteries. I was in there in the overwhelming indoor United Center. What was missing? Yes. The batteries were already drained out of any potential difference across its electrodes. I went around the whole stadium, checked all the gift shops, begged. Sorry, No AA.
I wanted to snatch the digicam from that babe but her BF did not seem that nice. The pics in my celfone are as good as Kareena Kapoor's dancing. I guess Murphy was hanging around.

OK. Back to the track. The post is about the new place and the pics.

<-- Before The Aryans Settled in the foreign land. Chaos prevailed.

After--->
Its a One bedroom apartment on the 10th floor of a high rise on the Lake Shore Drive. The windows in the living room and bedroom face north-east with a scenic lake view.
Still need to buy blinds for that window :)

Optical Zoom - 0 x

Optical Zoom - 3 x

Optical Zoom - 8 x

This place is a recreation club, I think. I see baseball pitches, lawn tennis nets, jogging and roller blading tracks. I might just walk down there this weekend.

Mirror Mirror on the wall.
The apartment came with lots of big mirrors and ceiling lights. One of the many factors that I decided to rent it. Other factors included location, easy commute to work, beach right across the road, in house gymnasium, library, 28th floor sun-deck, 24 her doorman etc.

Kitchen -1
This is the place where I (DO NOT) like to spend my free time :)..

Did u notice the mirror ?:)

Kitchen - 2

(Camera: Nikon Coolpix 4800)

Tag Tag Taggy

2006-02-04T12:08:00.000-08:00

The tagger has tagged this taker of the tag, and this taker of the tag intends to take the tag, not because he fantasize taking tags but because he has been tagged by any tagger after a long tagging time.

So let the tag be taken by this taker of the tag.

Tag - list 8 different points for my perfect lover.

Sex of the target = Female (until I decide to turn gay or bi)

Actually, this tag is an easy one. Straightforward and uncomplicated.

NO!. Not because I know exactly what I want or specifically who, but mainly because I am

B. L. A. N. K.

Everything has changed. 2004 and 2005 have been years of realizations. Years of changing perceptions. Two most important years of my worthless life.

What exactly is the problem?. There are many voids. Its like a unstirred cylinder full of small aggregate pieces. It needs to be shaken up. It needs an external force to vigorously jolt it so that the pieces rearrange themselves and fill the gaps. At least minimize them. It can not be done from within. Someone has to come along and rattle me.

NO! If you think that this is going to end here. The tag will be taken. Just that there will be no points. Categorize if you want to.

if (lover==life partner)
{
Koochie-coo gurl. I am not sure what I want to say here. One glance at her and I feel like doing koochie-coo with her! May be its pulling her cheeks till they turn red. (or I get a slap). May be its just watching her cook. (or she watching me cook). May be its listening to her talking to the maid. (or instructing the maid to maintain a safe distance from me, safe.). May be its just her touch when she puts the pillow below my head. (or snatches it). May be its just she reading this and still deciding to be with me.(or she reading it later on and killing me). You got the point?. Koochie-coo gurl.

I am not a big guy. No tall, dark and handsome. She need'nt be J Lo or Ash. Me and her, look good together? . Deal!.

Me and her all cuddled up on the couch. Close. Very Close. Just that thin flannel blanket. Her head resting on mine. Mine on hers. Holding each other. Picture perfect. Watching movies after movie. Right from DDLJ to A Walk to Remember to Matrix to Charlie's Angels to Home Alone to Satya to Veerana to KKHH et al. Dont look at me. Look up, the tag says perfect partner.

Once in a while I would love to have those lazy Saturdays. No waking up. Sleep till we get bored or tired or mountain hungry. No early morning tea. No brushing of teeth. No cleaning each other. Just lie down. Be lazy. Forget responsibilities. Forget shopping for groceries. Forget laundry. Forget vacuum cleaning. Forget the world. Be with me. I am with you. We are the world.

Nothing better than a life-partner who earns. I have grown up watching my mom go to work everyday and still manage 'n' number of things that come along with a family. If you ask her, she would tell that its the confidence of earning that keeps her going.

We live in a multi-cultured society and come across situations and people who require different treatment at different levels. I will not be able to take on all of them. I need her. An ideal partner would rise and shine when I don't. We would be each other's support system.

}

if (lover== just a lover)

{

Be hot enough. Fire will be lit. Extinguishers will be hidden. 911 will go on leave. We will burn.

}

The tag requires that I pass it on. Well. Here it goes.

If you comment on this post and have not taken the tag, consider yourself tagged.

P.S. : to all the programmers out there. Sorry there were no function declarations and semicolons. Do not try and compile.Thanks.

Ek kavita likhna chahta hun

2006-01-27T22:58:00.000-08:00

Update: (Feb 02, 2006)

I feel like a cave-man. No internet at home yet.
Customer care of SBC Yahoo! DSL hold a degree in transferring our calls to tech support and back.
I think my boss read this post and is keeping me busy. Sorry Boss. Please read this too.
I like to follow a no-net-at-work-rule but these days somehow I feel like breaking all rules.
This is the last line of the update. Back to work.
Okay one more. There are 99.312% chances that this Sunday I will watch Rang de Basanti.

Ek kavita likhna chahta hun
Apne aansuon ko shabd dena chahta hun..

Unse kabhi mulaqat hogi to arz karenge
Woh naa bhi sune...ek wah to darz karenge..

Barkat hai ki shabdon ki kami humein nahi..
majboor hain, yeh aansu abhi tak thamein nahi..

So this is what a budding Civil Engineer sitting in his cubicle, on the 35th floor of a high rise in the 3rd largest city in US does. Not to forget the breathtaking view of the semi-frozen Lake Michigan.
The news is that I got a raise yesterday. Not just me, everyone got a raise. Why? Because its that time of the year when the company reviews the pay packages. Some time yest, my phone rang and almost simultaneously Outlook notified me of a new mail.

The friend (on fone): "You got it?"
Me: Ya..dude..reading..
friend: WTF!
Me: I dont know..
friend: you got the same?.$*.* ?
Me : yo...I guess we have exaclty the same talents and working abilities.

Honestly, I dont care about money too much. I like to think that I can happily manage with whatever comes my way. When I was in college, I was happy with whatever I got to spend in the canteen. When I was in Bangalore, I was happy not watching every movie screened in the PVRs. And now here, I am happy with whatever I get to send back home.
(I do understand that I have not seen the worst of the life yet and when it will come it may well change my beliefs and make me run after the gold.)

Given all that, I was eagerly waiting for the moment because I wanted a feedback. May be a rating would have done just fine.

The more exciting news is that its 12:37 am on Saturday and I have to move into a new apartment starting 8:00 am on the same Saturday :D ..
I have been packing my stuff this week so not much is left. Its going to be a hectic Saturday. and I am guessing that it might take a couple of days to get the internet setup and everything else. So I might just be away....(like if anyone will notice!)

Another Life?

2006-01-25T17:07:00.000-08:00

Finally!..:)

I got motivated, yet again.

I feel weird. Now that I have decided to get back to this place, I make an attempt to wander into the streets of my mind, hoping to pick up random memories lying unnoticed, waiting for attention, waiting to be cherished. But I see nothing but deserted streets, closed doors and turned backs. I feel like a stranger in his own home. I knock on the doors, I shout at the turned backs, I plead. There are no answers. Soon (or very very late?), I realize, this might be a punishment, and most rightly a well deserved one.

I hope and pray that things turn out the same way as they do for a loner who makes a return to his home after a long, long time. He takes time to settle down, stands on his feet and then finds a street which is as lively and glowing as a scented candle flame. The wax, he would make sure be limited only by his imagination. He looks for company and finds aplenty. He knocks on the door and they open. He picks up random memories and admires each one of them.

It would be a brutal treachery if the first post of this new life ends without two things. Firstly, my apologies to the readers of personal musings. I dont know if it mattered to any one but still I am sorry (yes, the same old sorry) for doing that vanishing act of mine with a small "Thats It". I am here waiting for the gallows, is all I can say. Secondly, I wish to thank two individuals, who time and again, persistently, poked me with the question. "Kaps, so when are you getting back?"..."What happened to your blog?". They are InciVinci and Nupur.

Invincible in particular, who kept nagging, with infinite patience accompanied by his typical nonsensical uncommon sense of humor. Thanks Big Brother!.. Nupur, who'd simply put it into my face.."Kapil, take control of your BLOG!". Thanks Mate! Again, I dont know if it mattered to anyone of you, but you did make a difference. About a month back, I was trying to get back. Made a cool new template (not this one), all by myself, Ooops! ok..ok..Google devta helped me find my inspiration, as they say in bollywood. Also tried to put together a 'dhamakedaar' post about my comeback. No, not this one. A different one which will not get published in all probability. And then, about the same time I saw Mr. Invincible calling time out!. It dint do any good. None at all. :(. But he is back now and for the good :) ) .

And yes, it was only the writer Kaps that was away. The reader Kaps was active. He blog hopped to his favorite blogs. Discovered some new and interesting blogs and I guess the commentator Kaps wants to take charge.

So Ladies and their Brothers..Lets ROCK!.

There are 3 types of rock

1. Sedimentary Rock

2. Metamorphosis Rock

3. Igneous Rock

(Self to Kaps: Are we trying to be funny here?

Kaps to Self: Umm..Ya!

Self to Kaps: Dude, You Suck.

Kaps to Self: There are 3 types of Suck..1.)

Summary:
I am back.

(sounds so cliched, right? but thats how Life of a Kaps is..)

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